Mentor: Who? What? Where? When? How?

Or is it, "A mentor? Huh?"

Recently, I went to an event featuring two phenomenal women who were posed with the question, "Who was your mentor?" I could not tell you who they said because what I took from it was them both stating that they have had several mentors over the years. Plus, even at the point in their lives, they still have mentors. 

This got me thinking about who was a mentor in my life and who is my current mentor. I began to realize with most of my mentors, I did not realize they were my mentor at the time. I am still not sure if that is a good or bad thing, but no need to dwell on it. It is more important to focus on what I did learn from them, how they helped me with my school, career and life, and what I can still learn and take from the time I did spend with them. 

Needless to say, when planning the first Wine, Women & Conversation gathering, I knew, "What do you look for in a mentor?" had to be in the Bucket of Wonderment and lucky for me someone randomly picked it!

However, I found myself a little surprised by the others responses. When I think of a mentor, I am thinking guidance, support and strength. They took it a step further:

• Not easy-going
• More boss like than me
• Assertive about she/he defining her/himself as a mentor
• Develops concrete action steps

With that said and at least for myself, those might be some of the reasons I did not realize someone was a mentor until after the fact. Should a mentor/mentee relationship be formalized? Or can it be informal? What makes for the best, most successful relationship?

What are your thoughts? What do you look for in a mentor?